Never Grow Up

Current Song: Taylor Swift - Never Grow Up

How true is this song?!?! It's ridiculously true.  If I were writing this song it would cover how Christmas was so much more magical when you were little, snow was pleasurable because you didn't have to go to school, and you had no idea what love was except that of your mom and dad and whole family and maybe your best friend at school.

It's funny how as you get older,  Christmas traditions fade away and that magical feeling isn't there like it used to be.  You realize it's the day to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  That if that day had never happened, we wouldn't have had him here to die for us.  But the mystery of Santa was always so intriguing.  A little jolly man bringing us all presents in the night.  I wish it were real.  I wish I still had that innocence of not knowing that it's just a myth.

Snow is something I don't think I've ever been fond of.  But at least when I was little, it got me out of school.  I remember one year making so many beaded necklaces and key chains and stuff because we had so many snow days.  I always loved the crafty stuff.  Now, snow comes, and I'm stuck inside.  If I miss work, I don't make money.  Now mind you, at this point if I found true love I'd run faster than you could possibly think from money and live off the effervescence of pure passion and love.  But snow is wet and cold and just not fun.  I miss green grass and daises blooming.  Buttercups popping up on the sides of my driveway.  If any flowers wanted to bloom now, they'd never make it...which is depressing.

And love.  Real love. True, pure, passionate love.  It's a beautiful thing we're born not knowing what that is.  That when we're little our daddies are our heros and mom's are the queens of our lives.  That we make best friends in elementary school and tell them we love them and will be friends forever only to realize that forever doesn't go past middle school.  But love of your family never leaves.  Love of your little friends leaves but you're not broken.  You have so many crushes, but the thing is they never find out.  That's the beauty of discovering love.  You don't really get hurt.  But then you do find your first love once you're not little anymore.  And you're naive and believe he only loves you and wants you forever.  But of course that's not always the case.  If I were talking to me as a little girl I'd have to tell her that her prince she dreamed of all the time was not quite the prince she thought.  That through their whole relationship there was always a girl tugging him away only to lead to the final ending when one of them actually succeed. 
But that's ok little Meg, it's a great learning experience.  You realize you learned a lot from him.  It may take you a couple years to completely accept what happened and move on, but you will move on.  Just know, that along the journey you're going to meet many other possibilities.  But you just can't keep your mouth shut.  Those middle school crushes you never told, but now..now you constantly put your foot in your mouth.  But once again, you'll learn.  Accept where you are in life now and be happy with it.  As an early on hopeless romantic, it doesn't help that I always want a fairytale.  Fairytales don't exactly exist though.  You just gotta go with the flow and see where God leads you next.

Oh little Meg, you are my favorite.  I wish I were as blinded to life as you.  It makes the world so much more beautiful. 
<3

(aren't you happy I actually wrote a long one for once? this is just rare =])

Four and a half days

Four and a half days till a tiny Christmas break.
21 years old, all my friends are getting giant Christmas breaks.  I get 2 and a half days.
College vs. Career

I honestly don't know which is better.  Personally in both you still sit here anticipating real life to truley start happening, yet you sit, stuck at 21 waiting and waiting and waiting and working and working and working.

Oh well, at least I have a few more days off for the new year.

Just thought I'd update my two people that look here. 

Oh, and henrietta died =[  good little computer.  she will be missed.  thus, I am forced to use the internet of the dinosaur.  Therefore I can't watch anything on youtube!!! I'm going crazy!!! But hopefully my new laptop will be here soon.

OH. wow its funny how you think of things when you're not tryin to think of them.  I actually..FINALLY started writing in a real diary again!  I took about a year and a half break, the things I had begun writing were too dark.  But I wrote for the first time again the other night and it felt good.  It's the actual real stuff in my head that I would never put out here =p. therefore the paper will most likely be hearing more from me. 

YAY!
=]

Excecise, the "Coma" and Best Friends Birthday

Oh exercise. We've never been all that close but suddenly I feel our friendship is going to be  a good one. 

Actually it's true, I've never been one to enjoy exercising.  Yes I love going out to the Eno, but the majority of my life I complained about the hills.  The one time I enjoyed doing squats was only because I was depressed from losing a lover and had completely lost my butt.  Therefore I'd put all my frustration into the squats and getting that butt back. (Cause I mean really...a flat butt is not good.)

But now I've actually been instructed as to what kind of exercise is best for me and what I want.  I started on my Birthday, which will be great for keeping up with how long I've been doing it.  So far less than a week. But tonight I actually got up to 10 in whatever these crunch things are I'm doing and this thing called the "superman".  The scissor things and twistie thing I can do for longer than 30 seconds now.  And it actually feels good.  I'm rather satisfied with myself.  I've just got to keep it up.  Image in head: Next summer...my super cute bikini I already have on this new toned shape I will have. yes.  It does sound quite lovely.

So the coma I was in last time.  Well, I think it's a permanent coma right now.  It's interesting how just someones touch can make you high, but it can.  And that person being one of your dearest friends doesn't help either.  I have no idea really what to say anymore on the matter, I just love the state it's in right now. 

Andddd last but not least, its Sarah's Birthday!!!!!!!  Happy Birthday!!!  I figure it's only proper to comment on it as she is the only person who will most likely read this.  Haha. Just kidding.  But she does deserve a special shout out.  When you've been friends with a person since they were 12 and they're now turning 20, that's pretty crazy!  Now we're in a whole new decade!  Who knows where we'll be by the end of this decade of 20 somethings.  Personally I think it's the most transitional age decade and biggest for self discovery.  Yes Sarah, I'm still wishing you a happy birthday but I'm also reflecting on this whole getting older thing. 
I know personally since turning 20 and now sitting at 21 I've realized quite a bit about myself that I didn't before.  I'm certainly learning patience of many forms right now.  It's interesting thinking about the future as well.  Like babies.  I know for sure I absolutely do not want a baby until at the least my very late 20's.  Which is funny because as a teen I always thought I should follow like everyone in my family, get married around 19/20 and have a kid soon after.  I think I might go crazy if that were the case right now.  But it is ironic that my first relationship was going down that path.  Thank you Jesus that it ended and I'm not sitting at home with a crying kid with him away sleeping with who knows how many easy girls.  Excuse my openness.   But the whole point is that as you come to each birthday you learn many new things about yourself.  That's the only thing I feel changes about Birthdays.  I never feel any older, just some what wiser.