This picture isn't what inspired this blog, but it has two of the people in the video most. =]
So I found the slide show of high school that I made at the end of that journey. I hadn't watched it in quite a while. But in watching it, I realized a lot of things. Of course it's too long and the site won't let me post it, but I can still talk about it! Through the whole thing I laughed and I cried, I smiled and my heart hurt a little, but at the end, I realized how different I am now. Already I've grown so much from it. But I also saw that without sarah and kaitlin, I wouldn't have had much fun. If there are two people in the world that were meant to be my sisters, they would be that for sure. So here I go specifically talking to some of the people in the video just for the heck of it. (And yes, if you know me, the first love is going to be addressed, I'm that ballsey now. woot!)
Sarah - Certainly the one friend in 6th grade I never knew I would be so close to. I don't even think we ever had a class together..maybe one...not sure. But I know that anything I need at all she's there. If either of us are down, the other must drag them to the car and go driving to sing "Naturally" at the top of our lungs to get in a better mood. It's nice knowing I have a friend that would be there for anything. Plus we can both be crazy together. I mean look, we have a youtube channel full of music videos, obviously we're different. But I wouldn't change that for anything. And looking at that video of high school, I know, especially when I was so down and depressed, I have no idea how I would have EVERRR made it through without this one. She listened to me repeat things over and over and over about how horrible I thought life was and how I just wanted to die. I'm surprised she didn't just kill me out of pure frustration of repetition. But she didn't, and I know she wouldn't, and she's a wonderful friend for all of that.
Kaitlin - The other part of my group of three. I wouldn't take anything in the world for having two best friends. High school was the 4 years we became closer yet also changed drastically. I was there from her massive crushes on different boys to her telling me that one had done it all. It's a difficult thing accepting that someone you care about was not cared for by someone they once cared about. But through all those boys we learned plenty of things and I know Kaitlin will always be there as well. I'm honestly glad we were at completely different high schools because that's what helped us stay such good friends. Even though she introduced me to the next person, whom I have no desire to speak good things of, reality is, when she introduced me and him, she introduced me to life and what really happens, instead of the magical fairy tale I thought it was. And for that I thank her.
Nathan - Oh boy, the first love. Where do I dare start. It's actually interesting I feel comfortable enough to talk about him online for people to see now, but honestly if he were to see this today I wouldn't care. He was my first relationship ever. First boyfriend, first kiss, first date. All of those things that happen in high school, he was (keep in mind though I am a good girl, he wasn't the first everything because I'm saving a lot). But, now nearly two years after being rid of him I can honestly watch that video and see what we shared, appreciate it, and move on. I won't deny that I loved him. Because I did with every ounce of my being. But there's different types of people out there, and when it comes to values of self he needed someone more...let's just say giving. But, if it weren't for him I still wouldn't know what love is. So I'm happy sitting here knowing that one day there is someone that will love me for everything that I am and not care that I want to wait. I know about romance because of this guy and I can't wait to share with someone my whole romantic world. God works in wondrous ways and I thought I had everything when I was with Nathan when in reality I had nothing. But God gave me him to show me how to love and to know that not everything is perfect so don't expect it to be. Therefore Nathan will always be a small piece of my heart, but he will never have hold of it or be in it again. My heart belongs to whoever it is out there for me that actually deserves it.
Courtney - She was only at my school for about a year and a half, but during that time we were great friends. We even went and met Teddy Geiger together (which interestingly enough I barely remember..I guess I wasn't as big a fan of him as I thought.) But, as strange as those first few years of high school are, she was a great friend and meant quite a lot.
Laura - yes, mrs. condimine (maybe I spelled it right, maybe not) was a pretty important part too. Although she referred to me as courtney's friend for the longest time, she was really there when I needed her most. I guess I would have had to go to subway all alone and cry in the corner by myself with everyone watching if she hadn't been there to go with me. We went so much that they knew our orders. It was great. And being in Romeo and Juliet in the same family was fun too.
Mrs.Strong/Theatre - I found myself when I found theatre. I never would have dreamed I could have found such a love. Walking into that first theatre class I was this shy awkward girl who didn't know how to socially interact with people she didn't know and was rarely loud. It really helped me come out of my shell and find who I really am. My love for being on stage started burning passionately and has yet to be put out. As M'Lynn in Steel Magnolias I had my first big role in a production. I actually had to cry at the end and have a break down and the feeling I got from actually being able to do that after so many rehearsals, couldn't possibly be described to anyone who has never felt it. Mrs. Bradman was certainly the role I had to explore all sorts of things. I took a drab old british woman and made her a hott little double d alcoholic. And as the Nurse in Romeo and Juliet I certainly got to explore the many different emotions of an older person. I don't know what it is about crying on stage but I absolutely love it! Those three were just the big roles I had. There were countless hours of scene work with so many different plays and I loved every single minute of it. Theatre is the only thing I miss about high school.
My family - For sure a huge part of ones life. Enough said. My family was there through all the things I did. From all the chorus shows (and me being a chorus brat) to the change over to my love of theatre to the dark days of me being love sick. That is what family is all about.
I'm glad I watched that whole video (and honestly if you are still reading this you get a giant hug from me because idk who would want to hear me go on and on) but I did realize I'm a grown up now. Which is weird. But I don't think I'm to the point yet where I'm with the adults who are married with babies and all that junk. Bleh. I most certainly want to be married one day..and have kids..several years after, but that's certainly not for me right now. I'm just enjoying being happy in my skin and loving those around me for who they are. I guess you could say I'm in between beings a teen and being a complete adult. And I like it that way..for now.
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